You know those times where you have driven your life too far into that soft sand and got your self bogged, trying pointlessly to spin your wheels to get out until you finally realise you have got your stuck in a rut???
Well that’s me at the moment, I try so hard to be positive about living with T1D and I spread that positive image onto others to help make their lives feel better and worth living when really on the inside I am struggling to stay positive…
I find my self lately stuck on the negative, I have my first T1D complication and I have lost my job, it hits me more laying in bed at night feeling the tingling and burning in my feet from the neuropathy wondering where I went wrong in my tight diabetes management and then to what purpose am I trying to live and eat healthy if its only going to get me no where anyway.
All afternoon today I get the unexplained high blood sugars, why?? Because its just one of those things T1D gives us to work on our mental strength, and when I have been doing so well with stabilising blood sugars, looking at those double digits on the tester severely damages the motivation to do better.
But hey, as a friend of mine said today, We can’t be positive all the time. True, having that bit of negativity in life helps to build a stronger foundation, I just don’t need any more negativity right now but if anyone has some positive encouraging things to say I would be really appreciative.
So whilst typing this I have worked up the motivation (from where I have no idea) to cycle a century tomorrow (100km), I think this will give me the clear head space I am looking for, if not I will crash hard when I get home and fall asleep so I can’t think!! Just need the motivation to get up early in the cold, mmmm that might prove more difficult than finding a job!