The Silence

Often I stop and wonder what other people with out Type 1 Diabetes think about in those moments of silence, you know when you’re in a nice quite peaceful environment by your self or when your head hits the pillow at night, it has been so long that I can not remember what I thought about pre-diagnosis during those quite times…

I can honestly count on two hands how many times in the last 16 years that I have not laid in bed thinking and analysing my current state of diabetes at night before I fly away on some crazy adventure during the night.

Laying there I think about what my current blood sugar is and where I estimate it to be in the next 20 min, 1 hour, 4 hours and when I wake in the morning, if I took the right amount of short acting insulin for dinner, long acting insulin for overnight stability, how (not if) the exercise I did before dinner today and yesterday is going to effect me tonight while I sleep, did I take enough insulin to cover the protein in the meal for dinner or is it going to end up shooting up in 2 hours time waking me from my adventures, the list goes on…

I imagine that non-diabetic or even people without chronic diseases think about all the great or not so great things they did that day, what they are going to do tomorrow, how great life was today, remembering that you have not spoken to a family member or friend for a while and you must ring them…yeah I don’t get any of that.

To be honest I have been a little concerned of late about how this has negatively effected / effecting my relationship with my wife and my kids as I must seem totally distracted and un interested in their lives most of the time, I have been doing a lot of changes in my life lately to try to change this but it takes a lot of work and a lot of will power.

To give you an idea on how distracted I am, in less than 5 days I will be racing in the Cape to Cape mountain bike race, 4 days, 221km of, off road racing through single track, beach, fire roads and forest.

Super tough, super fun, super exhausting.

cape2cape2015
My results from last year

 

I did it last year and I loved the experience so much I decided to do it again this year and managed to rope another mate into it, anyway I have rarely even been thinking about any race strategies, bike setup, where I will be and where I should be at various points in the race, it’s all been about how I’m going to manage blood sugars during the race to stop myself from passing out or going high!

I suppose the race nerves wont be so made because I wont know whats coming up really…

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